


The Horns He Wears

by Inu_Sama



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Child Abuse, F/M, Hallucinations, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Slow Burn, Slow To Update, Underage - Freeform, fluff?, idk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2018-01-11
Packaged: 2019-01-21 19:59:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12464808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inu_Sama/pseuds/Inu_Sama
Summary: Bill wanted to retch and almost did when light shone down from above to reveal that the ‘bodies’ were the missing kids from the flyers posted all over town. It was true, then. Even if it wasn’t some immortal monster, someone was taking these kids. It was then he felt a puff of cool breath against the back of his neck.“Why hello there!” a voice said right by his ear, making him shiver.





	1. The Funeral

Bill stared at the empty coffin that was slowly being lowered into the ground. They couldn’t find anything to bury, this was more just for his parents. So they could adjust to the fact that their son was gone. It would have been for him too, if Bill could feel anything. But it was as if there was cotton in his head, he couldn’t think straight or concentrate for very long on anything anymore. He knew his baby brother was dead, and that it was his fault. If he had just been there with him instead of lazing about in bed, maybe things would be different. Bill felt numb and the grief only hit him when he was alone in his room that night.

His parents had gone to bed early, drained from the day’s events. They hadn’t spoken a word to him since they found out Georgie was missing. He knew why; they also blamed him. Even if it stung horribly, he didn’t think they were wrong. The feeling of guilt and self-loathing rocked through him, crashing like angry waves against his self control. For the second time in his short life, Bill cried. His gut twisted and his throat burned but he dared not make any sound. Instead he curled in on himself on top of the covers and let out ragged breaths as wet, hot tears spilled readily from his eyes.

Bill felt awful the next morning, like that time Richie had stolen from his dad’s liquor cabinet. His head throbbed with pain, his eyes stung and were puffy. His body ached from the tight position he’d fallen asleep in. But his heart felt somewhat lighter than it did yesterday, so that was something. Bill got out of bed and wandered to the bathroom across the hall, blatantly refusing to look at the door to his right. The sign that proclaimed it to be  _ his  _ room was gone, leaving a plain white door behind. The sign had been drawn on a piece of paper with green crayon of all things, at the time Bill thought it was stupid but the fact that it was now gone was like a punch in the gut.

The teenager closed the bathroom door behind him, fighting the urge to cry again. He didn’t want to go through that again. Not when he already had to go to school, the evidence of his weakness would be broadcasted to every bully who looked. Bill had asked for a few days off but his parents had refused, saying that he needed some normalcy in this difficult time. He thought it was just because they didn’t want him around. They barely looked at him anymore, only acknowledging his presence when he talked to them directly. There was a cold rift between them now and Bill didn’t know what to do. Couldn’t they see he was hurting too? He needed them more than ever but instead of taking care of their only  _ living  _ son, they pushed him away.

As the months passed with no change and summer break approached, Bill’s hope that they only needed time to grieve was rapidly dwindling with every disgusted glare. Things only got worse from there, Georgie’s death had torn a hole in this family that Bill secretly knew would never heal. Bill left the house when the shouting began, a regular occurrence by now that he barely thought about it anymore. He didn’t know when they would turn their anger on him, so he left. His legs took him to the woods behind their house and he relaxed some when he reached the stream. The bubbling of water and the sounds of life coming from the trees always managed to calm his frayed nerves. Bill walked for a while, following the stream as he allowed himself to get lost in his thoughts. It felt like he could really breathe out here, there were no angry parents, no bullies that had never even given him a grace period to mourn the loss of his brother. There was no one, not even his friends whose company had become suffocating lately. It always had a refreshing feeling, being alone.

Eventually the stream lead him to a gaping hole sticking out of a hill and Bill realised where he was. This was the entrance to the sewers, the large pipe almost completely obscured by thick weeds and vine-like plants. Bill felt a thrill of fear race down his spine before he scoffed at himself. Some believed this town was cursed, but Bill didn’t think it was true. He had lived in this town his whole life and nothing had ever happened, until now, he supposed. 

Still, the fact that this was the last place anyone expected him to be was very appealing and before he knew it he was wandering the damp maze of tunnels, uncaring if he got lost. He almost wanted to get lost, maybe then he could get out from under the crushing guilt and grief he felt pressing down on his shoulders. That would be nice, Bill thought. When they ‘buried’ Georgie, he remembered thinking how  _ little  _ the coffin was. Pressure began to build behind Bill’s eyes but he forced the feeling back and concentrated on where he was going. To distract himself from the mounting tension he could feel in his chest.  _ Left, right, right, left, straight, left. _ He stumbled upon a large circular room filled with broken toys, all arranged into a massive mountain.

Bill stared in awe, there must have been over a million toys and other trinkets in there. He spotted a rocking horse off to the side, it’s painted face distorted with age and water stains. It looked like it had been there for decades. His gaze travelled upwards to the tip of the pile where he saw….  _ bodies  _ suspended in the air. Bill wanted to retch and almost did when light shone down from above to reveal that the ‘bodies’ were the missing kids from the flyers posted all over town. It was true, then. The curse. Even if it wasn’t some immortal monster,  _ someone  _ was taking these kids. Between the silence, only broken by the drip drip dripping of greywater from the ceiling, Bill didn’t realise he wasn’t alone until he felt a puff of cool breath against the back of his neck.

“ _ Why hello there! _ ” The voice appeared right by his ear, making him shiver.


	2. The dancing creep

Bill stared incredulously as Pennywise handed him a bright red balloon. The being looked pleased when Bill took it automatically, fingers absently twisting around the white plastic ribbon. Despite the fact Bill should be freaking out right now, he was kind of disappointed that this hadn’t turned out to be his own special hidey hole. Someone was already using it - living in it, if the state of the thing's clothes were any indication.  _ “Do you fear me? _ ” the thing asked, looming close - Bill knew it wasn’t human as it had already displayed the shark-like mouth in an effort to scare him. Strangely, Bill wasn’t perturbed by it. Sure it was weird, but he felt like he didn’t have the energy to do the whole ‘run screaming from the sewers, almost wetting his pants’ bit.

So he shrugged and said; “Not really, maybe if you did that shark thing again?” Bill offered when Pennywise’s shoulders slumped slightly, the painted face losing expression. Yes, it had occurred to him that this was a bizarre situation and he should  _ not  _ be encouraging It. “At least now I know the legends are real,  _ you’re  _ real.” It perked up at that, a wide grin on its face. “ _ There are  _ **_legends_ ** _ about little ol’ me _ ?” Bill watched curiously as the being did a little jig before resting too-big hands on his shoulders. “ _ Tell me! Tell me! _ ” It shouted like an excited child, both amusing Bill immensely that  _ this  _ was the ‘curse’ of Derry and also creeping him out because Bill was pretty sure It was a fully grown whatever-it-was and should  _ not  _ be acting like a child.

Like the children IT eats…. Bill’s nose scrunched in distaste as he remembered exactly  _ who  _ he was supposedly talking to. He wasn’t scared though, and he wondered why. He should be, any normal person would be. “What is wrong with me?” Bill asked no one in particular, startled when the hands on his shoulders tightened to an almost painful degree. “ _ There is nothing wrong with you, Billy boy! I can promise you that! _ ” It said cheerfully, the nails digging into his flesh the only giveaway as to the being’s true feelings. Had It been bullied too? Bill almost did a double take. What was he thinking? He needed to focus.

Pennywise shook him surprisingly gently, trying to get his attention. “ _ Tell me! I want to know! _ ” IT whined, shaking Bill again for emphasis. Bill couldn’t help but laugh at the clown’s antics, he still couldn’t believe that this was what people were so scared of. He tried not to think about all the kids floating above them and put a hand to ITs chest to push It away. The being didn’t budge, obviously not knowing what the words ‘personal space’ meant and Bill huffed. “Alright, I’ll tell you but you have to back up a bit you’re too close.” Bill finally said and the demon did as asked, sitting on the cold, damp concrete like it was storytime. Bill imagined himself as a kindergarten teacher and snorted. Right, focus.   
  


So Bill regaled the monster with all the horrifying tales he had heard as a child and how the people of Derry were still scared out of their wits to this day. Pennywise remained still and quiet when Bill finished talking, looking at the ground.  _ “So, they think I’m a monster?”  _ IT said pitifully, sounding like IT was going to cry but when IT looked up ITs face was dry, the makeup untouched. Bill didn’t know what to say, he hadn’t expected IT to be so….innocent? No, that was the wrong word, IT was still a killer, after all. But he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. “I mean, you do eat people.” Bill immediately knew it was the wrong thing to say when the being’s face contorted in sudden anger.

_ “Leave! Go Now!” _ IT screamed, pointing a clawed finger to the exit. Bill didn’t have to be told twice, suddenly realising that Pennywise was a dangerous creature that had killed many people, most of them kids. Heck, IT had probably even gotten  _ Georgie  _ and that’s why they could never find him. He was  _ down here _ . Bill tried not to let the knife of grief twist in his gut too much as he made his way back to the house in a daze. He also felt kind of bad, thinking back on it Bill thought it looked like he’d hurt the Clown’s feelings. He felt absurd for thinking like that, IT was a flesh-eating monster that preyed on kids. It was only when he was in sight of his house that he realised he had never let go of the balloon. He sighed and tied it to the nearest tree, making sure it was hidden in the trees.

He would give it back to Pennywise tomorrow and apologise….or something. But when he reached his house, Bill walked into the kitchen to meet his father’s fury. “WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU, BOY?!” the man roared, the sound of flesh hitting flesh echoed in the small room. Bill’s cheek stung and he knew it was red. He couldn’t meet his father’s eyes when he replied, “I-I-I w-was outs-s-side.” He stammered, his fear and anxiety making him stutter horribly. He usually didn’t have much of a problem with his speech impediment, it only surfaced when he was too emotional. It wasn’t weird for parents to hit their kids, it was a widely accepted form of punishment. Although, that was usually just a spanking or a cuff upside the head if you were being stupid. But Bill hadn’t done anything wrong so it felt like a personal attack. His father loomed over him, breathing like a wounded rhino. 

“Don’t you  _ ever  _ go anywhere without my knowledge again, do you understand?” Bill nodded timidly, thoroughly cowed by the adult. Fingers gripped his jaw and forced Bill to look at his father. “I said,  _ do you understand _ , William?” Bill’s eyes widened, shocked that his father had used his full name. His parents never did that unless they were really angry with him. But the poor teenager still didn’t understand  _ why  _ he was angry. “Yes, Father.” Bill said clearly, blue eyes never wavering from grey lest his father think he was being disrespectful. This wasn’t the first time this kind of thing had happened, but Bill had yet to get used to it. Ever since his brother’s death, his parents had never been the same. It’s like their souls had been torn in half, the hole filled with a darkness that expressed itself through anger and abuse.

Bill was roughly let go, stumbling back into the fridge as his father walked away. He was probably going to the shed so he could hit something. Bill rubbed his cheek, the colour slowly receding when the raised skin calmed down. He trudged upstairs to his room, he had summer homework to do. It would provide enough of a distraction that Bill would be able to push down his frustration and hurt at the shitty situation he had been thrown into. Previously Bill hadn’t thought that the death of someone close could have such far-reaching consequences. It was like a ripple of misery on Bill’s life and he hated it. Why did Georgie have to die? This thought sparked the familiar guilt train to life as he remembered it was his fault. He should have been there, shouldn’t have let him play outside alone. He had been  _ five  _ for christ’s sake! Bill quickly gave up on the math problems he had been given and went to bed, suddenly feeling exhausted.

 

_______________________________________________________________

  
  


The next morning Bill lay there in bed for a while, collecting his thoughts. He had slept pretty well despite the heaviness in his heart, the pain he felt when his parents yelled at him for no reason or would ‘forget’ to save a plate for him at dinner. His whole life had turned to shit, even his friends stopped calling, stopped wanting to hang out. He wanted to cry again, feel sorry for himself. But he felt like that’s all he did these days, throw himself pity parties where no one was invited because he knew no one would come. 

With a spark of irritation, Bill threw off the covers and got dressed for the day. It was summer break and he was determined to enjoy himself, even if no one else would come. That’s when he thought of Pennywise and the balloon he had strung up outside yesterday. Hope budded in his chest, maybe the serial killing clown would hang out with him. “Geez, I am desperate.” Bill whispered to himself, making sure his shirt was buttoned correctly. He didn’t normally wear button-ups, but it was a hot day and the light material was the only thing he knew wouldn’t stick to his skin in the heat. It was a faded light blue with white buttons and a thin checkered pattern that was only visible if you looked closely.

He also wore cargo shorts. Yep, Bill was the height of fashion today. Bill snorted and left the room. His father was dozing on the couch in the living room so he left a note in plain view before heading out, ignoring the various bottles of beer scattered about the place. Before leaving, Bill had the foresight to fill his pack with food and water so he didn’t have to come back home before curfew. Unlike with other kids his age, Bill’s curfew was dinner time. He was fourteen, not eight. Bill shook his head and went to untie the balloon only to find it had popped, the string dangling in the slight breeze. There were red bits of plastic all over the ground. 

He was somewhat disappointed, what was he going to give Pennywise as an apology? Then he thought about what the demon ate and an idea popped into his head - and no! He wasn’t going to bring him a kid! - he actually wanted to see if the being could eat other types of meat than human. That would solve all his problems, Pennywise would stop killing people and Bill wouldn’t have to feel so bad about trying to be friends with a flesh-eating monster. It would be like being friends with a talking dog, which was the only carnivore Bill could think of at that moment. Nevertheless it made him laugh and he quickly doubled back to the kitchen to grab the slabs of beef in the freezer. Bill defrosted them a little in the microwave, thinking that it would be too hard for his ‘friend’ to eat when he was used to soft stuff. 

Bill tried not to think about it too much, instead putting the meat in a ziplock bag and continuing down the stream to the sewers. IT was nowhere to be seen when Bill entered the room he was sure the being lived in. He dropped his bag on one of the only dry spots on the ground and looked back at the tower of broken toys. It's sheer size was impressive, the circumference spanning ten meters or more. It must have taken a really long time to accumulate so much junk. Then again, Bill thought, this  _ was  _ the sewers. People chucked stuff down here all the time. 

It was then something flickered in the corner of Bill’s eye and he looked over to see Pennywise crouched in a corner. IT wasn’t facing him and he heard a scratching sound like IT was drawing on the walls. Bill forgot about his offering, choosing instead to simply approach the clown. When he was close enough, Bill could hear a low guttural growl coming from the being in front of him. Bill didn’t know if it was a warning because Pennywise didn’t seem to have noticed his presence yet. Curiously, but cautiously, Bill laid a hand on the thick pale coat IT wore. As soon as he had touched ITs shoulder, Bill was being pinned to the wall by his throat. His feet dangled a few feet off the ground.

Despite this display of aggression, Bill still didn’t feel scared. Not of the clown, at least. Had he done something else wrong? Why was everyone always angry at him? Though a large hand was around his throat, IT was simply pinning him in place. He could easily breathe and Bill thought that was a good sign. If the being really wanted to kill him, IT could have quite easily. That notion twisted a knot of apprehension in his chest. “ _ I thought I told you to leave, Billy _ .” The being growled, pushing forward until their faces were so close their noses could touch. Bill could smell something sweet emanating from the clown but he wouldn’t tell what it was. It smelled amazing though. Completely uncaring of the position he was currently in, Bill leaned down to sniff at the clown’s neck. This shocked the being into releasing him, Bill falling hard on his arse.

“Why did you do that?” Bill squawked irritably, standing and trying to squeeze some of the frigid water from his clothes. IT looked at him like he had two heads. “ _ Just what the hell  _ **_are_ ** _ you?!” _ The clown burst out, throwing ITs gloved hands into the air in exasperation. This child was vexing, he never did anything IT expected him to and it drove the being up the wall. IT had tried scaring him, when that failed IT pretended to be childish and non-threatening in the hopes that the boy would be too creeped out and  _ leave _ . But no, it seemed a freak had stumbled upon IT. IT didn’t know whether to be impressed or annoyed that ITs tactics could be thwarted so easily. The boy stared at IT, small head cocked to the side with blue eyes fixed on IT. It made the being uncomfortable, no one had regarded IT so calmly in so many decades.

Bill pursed his lips, confused why an immortal monster would be asking  _ him  _ that question. “I’m human, if that’s what you’re asking.” Bill replied, unperturbed by the rapid change in emotions the creature was going through. He felt quite comfortable, actually. He caught sight of his bag over to the right and had the urge to kick himself. “Oh!” He was so stupid! He raced towards his bag, oblivious to the fact he had made IT actually  _ jump  _ with the sudden movement and retrieved his peace offering. “Are you hungry?” He asked, turning back to the being to find IT was closer than he thought. It seemed like whatever happened yesterday, the being’s lack of personal space issues was real enough.

“ _ Am I  _ **_hungry_ ** _? Why else do you think I woke up, stupid child! _ ” IT lashed out, not knowing how else IT was supposed to act in this situation. This was new territory for the being and it felt like the boy was holding all the cards. Bill flinched at the outburst, reminded of his father before he pushed those thoughts to the side and handed IT his prize. “I thought I should bring you this to say sorry. I don’t know if you can only eat human flesh, but I thought I could try. I was going to bring you back your balloon but it popped so….” Bill said in a rush, trailing off awkwardly at the end while IT just stared at him incredulously. IT had the strong urge to both roll ITs eyes and smile, but IT did neither and instead took the meat.

The boy sunk down to his knees and pulled out a ham and cheese sandwich and began eating. ‘ _ Seriously, what the FUCK was going on here? _ ’ IT thought with no small amount of hysteria as IT sat down across from the boy at the other creature’s insistence. IT looked at the boy suspiciously. “Did the Turtle send you here?” IT asked, wondering if this was a prank by that old fart up in the sky. They had never gotten along, IT was eating the things the Turtle created so of course they were going to be at odds. Bill looked up, confused. “Turtle?” he asked in return, a piece of ham hanging from his lips. Pennywise resisted the need to take it. Though IT could eat animals, they never compared to humans. But ITs stomach couldn’t give a shit sometimes, just as long as it was meat.

_ “Just… nevermind. _ ” IT sighed and tore into the beef on his lap, making sure to peel the plastic wrap. IT didn’t want any of that in ITs mouth. Bill watched in fascination as black claws picked one of the slabs up and dropped it into the shark-like mouth he had seen yesterday. “Wow, did you even  _ chew  _ that?” He asked, finishing off his own meal before taking a swig from his water bottle. He had never liked fizzy, it made him feel sick so he only ever drunk water. The bullies at school had teased him about it when they found out, even going so far as to shove his head into a toilet bowl to drink the water there. It was a traumatic experience for him and now he avoided going to the toilets at school. He always waited until he got home or found a convenient bush out of sight.

  
_ “I don’t need to.” _ IT replied, hoping against hope that this fact would freak the kid out. At least  _ that  _ was something IT could deal with. But alas, the boy just nodded in awe. IT decided to give up for now, clearly the boy wouldn’t leave no matter what tactics IT used. The most troubling thing was that the boy was not scared of IT, not one bit. IT would have smelled the fear on him. For the first time in a millennia, IT was worried.


	3. Not fast enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bit of a short one, but i wanted to upload another chapter so.... hope you enjoy it regardless!

Bill never told his father where he was going specifically, just that he was going outside into the woods to play with his friends. Which seemed to satisfy the man, and Bill was beginning to suspect he didn’t really care where he went or what he did as long as he was out of the house. His dad had just wanted an excuse to take his anger out on Bill that day. He was about to go to the sewers, Bill was going to teach Pennywise how to play ‘Go Fish’. It was one of the only games he knew all the rules to without needing to look them up. But he also had a few books in his bag in case IT wasn’t in a very sociable mood. That had happened a few times, the clown would ignore him or hide in ITs trailer until Bill went home for the night.

Though it stung a little bit, Bill didn’t blame the being for behaving like that. IT had been on ITs own for many years before Bill came along. IT probably just wasn’t used to the contact yet. But that was fine with Bill, he would wait. Even when IT was in one of those moods, it was better than being at home all day. His mother barely left her bedroom, only coming out to go to the toilet or to grab some food on the rare occasions she ate. When Bill did see her she looked more like a ghost haunting their halls than the woman that gave birth to him. It saddened the teenager to see his mother like that, so the more he was out of the house the better. Also, if he was out of the house then his father couldn’t yell at him.

But today he wasn’t fast enough. Bill curled into a ball on the kitchen floor as blow after blow rained down on him. His father was drunk again, this time raging about how shitty his boss was and how it was Bill’s fault he was getting demoted. Bill refused to cry in front of this man, but the throbbing pain all over his thin body was making it difficult. He would be covered in bruises, he just knew. A particularly hard kick to the gut propelled what little breakfast he had managed to find, out of his mouth and all over the linoleum. “Oh, you gross little fucker! Clean this up! I’m going to the bar.” His father said in disgust, leaving his son bruised and bleeding on the floor. The front door shut with a loud bang, the sound of the sedan starting up and driving away reached Bill’s ears.

Relief flushed through him like a cleansing tide and he rolled onto his back, taking in deep calming breaths. His body hurt, his stomach most of all. Bill couldn’t go to Pennywise like this, for some reason he didn’t want the being to know what went on in the Denborough house. He felt ashamed of himself, that he was so weak. Bill probably deserved what his father was doing for getting Georgie killed. Maybe this was God’s way of saying it was his fault and this was his punishment? The more times it happened, the more Bill was inclined to think that was the case. Bill knew it would be a few hours before his father was due to return so Bill made no rush to get up off the floor, instead he lay there trying not to cry.

* * *

The boy was late. Pennywise narrowed ITs gaze at the thinly veiled entrance to ITs home, the sun was setting and there was still no Billy. The child had been visiting IT everyday for the past month without fail from early morning to late afternoon. A sliver of concern wormed it's way through the being’s dead heart before it was overshadowed by self-loathing. Maybe the boy no longer wanted IT as a friend, maybe he was spending the day with the other human children like him. Pennywise sat down in the shadows near the entrance to wait for ITs friend, only moving when night came. IT was hungry, IT would go hunt and maybe when Pennywise returned, the boy would be there.

* * *

Another person had gone missing in Derry. It was an adult though, so Bill was sceptical if it was Pennywise or not. The boy was under the impression that the being only ate children. Bill was gingerly washing the dishes, listening to the local news on the small television in the lounge room. He was making sure to be mindful of his injuries. Even if the bruising was relatively light, his stomach had gotten worse and Bill didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what that meant, was it just another bruise like the rest or was it something more serious? The only thing Bill was sure of was that he couldn’t go to a doctor, they would see the bruises and his father would get angry. He didn’t even consider talking to his mother, she never spoke anymore. All the other times Bill had tried to coax a conversation out of her had been received with a blank stare that seemed to go  _ through  _ him as if he weren’t there at all.

She would be no help. Maybe Pennywise would know? Bill scrapped that idea immediately, there was a reason he hadn’t gone to see the clown the last few days. His bruises needed more time to heal, which also meant he couldn’t leave the house either. He wouldn’t be able to look it up in the library and they had no medical books here. In fact, the only ‘books’ in the house were Bill’s comics and they would offer no solution. Bill could cover the ones on his body with a long shirt and pants, but he didn’t know how to conceal the ones on his face. He was stuck, with no other option but to wait for his body to heal. Bill hoped that would be very soon as his father had been caught driving drunk last night and would be released this afternoon. He didn’t want to be here when the man returned, no doubt he would be angry and would take it out on Bill.

* * *

Bill ran as fast as his legs could take him, feet splashing in the shallow water of the river. Pennywise was waiting for him at the entrance and Bill wasted no time in hurtling into the being’s cold arms. IT caught him through reflex and ITs eyes widened when IT realised the boy was crying quite heavily. Pennywise didn’t know what to do, he tried pushing the child off IT but Bill refused to let go, only holding tighter to the neck frills of the clown costume. Trapped in a vice made from Bill’s arms, Pennywise sighed and carried the boy inside. IT refused to acknowledge the sense of relief and pride that Bill had come back to IT. He had sought comfort from the clown when in distress and that made IT very smug. All thoughts from before had shrivelled under the weight in ITs arms and the heat the human furnace was emitting. Pennywise grinned as Bill nuzzled into the crook of ITs neck.


	4. He did What?!

IT was angry. Pennywise rocked the now sleeping child in ITs arms as IT sat cross legged in ITs trailer. It was the warmest place in the sewers and IT didn’t want Billy Boy catching a cold. IT was trying really hard not to look at the bruises again. IT would only get angrier and IT didn’t want to scare Billy Boy. Filthy humans! IT hated them, they never thought beyond their own needs and always hurt the people around them. Especially the children, they were always the first victims. In a twisted way, Pennywise was saving them from that. When the children floated they were given a mental playhouse where they could do whatever they wanted and nothing bad would happen. They could live happily in their dreams. Sure, IT nibbled on an arm or a leg here and there, but they wouldn’t feel it so it was fine.

IT could make Billy float, make him forget about all the pain in his life. But Pennywise was selfish, IT didn’t want to let the boy go. IT wanted so badly to eat the one that had done this to his boy, to tear them to pieces. They didn’t deserve to float. They would get a painful, drawn out death that was for sure. Pennywise growled from deep in ITs throat and it echoed off the stone walls of the sewer. Billy stirred, but didn’t wake. Instead he curled closer into the embrace which served to soothe some of ITs ire. IT had a boy to take care of, hunting would come later. Pennywise smiled, it wasn’t a nice smile but a feral one that would have made even the most brave of men want to run away. IT was looking forward to it.

* * *

 

Bill woke to the sound of humming. For a moment he thought it was his mother who used to sing to him when he had a nightmare, but the boy opened his eyes to see that he was in the sewers. His heart skipped a beat in fear before he saw who was holding him. He instantly relaxed and sighed heavily. “I didn’t want you to see…” Bill trailed off, closing his eyes again. He felt strangely light, no pain whatsoever. It made him want to go back to sleep. The being’s arms tensed around him for a second, reacting to Bill’s whispered words. He had sounded… ashamed? This realisation only sparked a new wave of fury within the monster, how could they do this to their own offspring?! Bill was such a nice boy - IT might eat kids, but at least IT didn’t torture them.  _ “Billy, I’m going to eat him.” _ Pennywise said, leaving no room for argument. Bill secretly wished IT would because in the far depths of his heart he wanted his father to suffer for what he had done to Bill. 

But despite this, Bill wasn’t a bad person and he felt horrible for thinking he would be better off if he just let the clown eat his father. “No” he argued faintly, opening his eyes once more to look into eyes more blue than his own would ever be. They flashed gold for a moment before the clown checked himself and instead proposed a compromise. So that was how Bill came home with one creepy clown doll in his arms. Pennywise had turned into the toy after Bill had insisted that it would be too conspicuous for ITs normal form to be seen following Bill around. IT would get arrested for sure. The being itself had seemed to find that part funny but ended up agreeing, giving in to ITs boy’s stubbornness.


	5. The Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long wait, i had writer's block.

When Pennywise was brought to the Denborough house, IT didn’t know what to think. It looked like any other human habitat, but there was something wrong. It lacked the warmth Pennywise had come to associate ‘homes’ with. This troubled the clown, IT should have seen this development sooner. IT didn’t realise that when IT took a child, a hole was left behind. Bill held Pennywise very gently despite ITs current stuffed appearance. It felt nice, IT hadn’t experienced ‘nice’ in a very _loooooong_ time. Pennywise growled in distaste at the beer cans scattered across the floor of what IT knew to be the ‘living room’. In this house it didn’t seem like the wispy woman staring out the window did much ‘living’ in this room. That must be Billy’s mother. IT could not smell any emotions from her, which was strange because even the most controlled human still let off _something_.

“Penny, shhh” Bill chastised, he had heard the growl and didn’t want IT to wake his father, who was napping on the couch. The clown was startled by the nickname, but ultimately pleased. IT wanted Billy to only call IT that from now on. IT squirmed in Bill’s grip for a moment before slumping with a huff. “ _Fine_.” IT pouted, crossing the doll’s tiny wooden arms. Bill nodded, catching a glance of his mother who sat at her piano like she used to, only she had her hands in her lap and she was staring out the window blankly. Bill sighed quietly and continued through the house, harrowed by the echo of Fur Elise. It was his mother’s favourite song and she used to play it constantly. It was playing the day that-

Bill shook his head and squeezed Penny a little bit tighter as he went up the stairs. _“Are you alright, Billy?”_ Penny asked, ITs voice high and squeaky due to ITs current form. With a strained smile, Bill nodded. Though it didn’t look like he had fooled the age-old clown, Penny didn’t press and instead remained silent as they passed _that_ room on their way to Bill’s. It was then Penny realised why the house was so cold and empty. IT knew that smell, it was the smell of a little boy named Georgie that the clown had snatched all those months ago. Penny drew in a quiet but horrified gasp. IT was the reason Bill was covered in bruises, that was ITs fault. All the suffering ITs boy had gone through was because of IT. Penny looked up at Bill, who was still staring at the door to his brother’s room.

It was then Penny could smell all the grief coming from the boy, the grief and pain _IT_ had caused by taking that child. Something black slithered it's way through the clown’s stomach and IT made a face. IT felt sick, but not the kind of sick like eating vegetables. No, it was something different that the being hadn’t experienced in ITs long life: Regret. Bill shut the door once they were in his room and loosened his grip on the clown. Penny took that opportunity to squirm the rest of the way and fell to the floor with a soft ‘oof’ before quickly disappearing under Bill’s bed.

“Penny? What’s wrong?” Bill asked, really confused but also kind of finding it funny that he _actually_ had a monster under his bed for once. Two glowing yellow eyes emerged from the shadows under his bed. “ _Bil-ly_ ” Penny whined, warring with itself of whether they should really have this conversation. What if Billy ended up hating Penny, IT couldn’t have that. Then Penny would be alone like before - but at least before IT hadn’t known anything else. If the clown was left alone now, IT knew it would hurt. IT didn’t want that, but the feeling in ITs gut only intensified the longer IT kept silent. Penny was startled when Billy’s face was suddenly in front of IT. Bill crouched on the ground, one hand braced on the ground while the other held onto the bed frame for support.

“Penny, you can tell me. I promise I won’t get mad.” Bill offered, suddenly reminded of when Georgie had done something bad and Bill had to coax him out of hiding. The thought of his brother was like a bee sting to the heart and he struggled to keep his expression calm. He didn’t know that Penny could smell what he was feeling. The clown retreated a step, clutching the frills around ITs waist as IT stared at the ground. A moment passed before Penny spoke, and when IT did, it was with a soft deep voice that didn’t match anything Bill had heard before. “ _It’s my fault_ .” IT said, not daring to look up. IT didn’t exactly know why IT didn’t want to upset Billy, didn’t want him to hate Penny, but that was something that could be mulled over later. Right now was an important step in their… _friendship_ \- which was a word that Penny had to get used to using, IT’d never had ‘friends’ before. The closest thing would be the turtle, and they weren’t even on good terms. But when you’re immortal, it is hard to make connections. (Not taking into account that Penny was feeding on the only other intelligent life on this planet)

“I don’t know what you mean, Penny.” Bill knew what Penny was talking about, he had known since that very first day in the sewers. But he didn’t want to have this conversation, didn’t think that he would be able to stay together in front of the clown and he didn’t want IT to see that side of him. That weakness. So he thought he could gloss over the confession by offering to get the monster some lunch. But Penny was determined and wouldn’t let Billy change the subject. Penny took a deep breath and stared into those blue eyes that had pulled away some in the time that they had been talking. _“I killed Georgie. I ate him.”_ IT said in a rush, feeling like a weight had been lifted and the snake in ITs stomach was slowly receding. IT had needed to say this to Billy, this had needed to be out in the open if IT had hoped of keeping their friendship. Bill’s face contorted into a mixture of sadness and regret. He didn’t want this, he didn’t want to have the fact that he was trying to be friends with the monster that ate his baby brother thrown in his face like this. _“I’m sorry, Billy. I caused all this-”_ Penny gestured to the bruises on Bill’s pale skin that were almost gone now.

Bill wanted to be angry, wanted to blame Penny for all his suffering. But he just couldn’t, instead he felt drained. “I know.” He said despondently before rolling onto his bed. He needed some sleep, some time to collect himself. Penny stayed where IT was, staring up at the blue mattress where it dipped under ITs boy’s weight. IT felt horrible. For the first time IT knew fear, knew it intimately as IT sat down, waiting for Billy’s breathing to even out. But even then, Penny didn’t move. IT didn’t know what to do, so IT stayed there and listened to Bill’s heartbeat, the sound of cars passing by outside, Bill’s disgusting father finally rousing from his drunken sleep. And IT waited, IT didn’t know what for but IT waited nonetheless.

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo!   
> Hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Any suggestions? Maybe we could brainstorm on motivations, character reactions, plot lines? Critiques? universe lore? It keeps me motivated to keep writing as I always start of with only a vague idea of what I want - which would leave a lot up to debate!
> 
> So come! Discuss with me! I would highly appreciate it!


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